Bad Advice Read online

  Bad Advice

  by

  S M Mala

  Published by S M Mala

  Copyright © S M Mala 2013

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any forms or by any means, including photocopying, recording or any other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher/author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  All characters in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

  Visit my website: www.smmala.com to see other titles.

  Support and genuine comments are welcome.

  Dedicated to everyone who ever wanted to be given a second chance at being happy.

  One

  ‘Talk to me,’…Ruby asked gently, knowing the person on the other end seemed distraught. ‘I’m here to listen.’

  ‘I can’t,’ replied the woman, who sounded like she was crying.

  Ruby could tell she was elderly, from the tone of her voice, and realised she had to listen. She forced herself to keep her true feelings in and her mouth shut.

  ‘Take your time. We’re the Samaritans. We’re here to help.’

  ‘He’s left! Went with someone else. And you know what? She’s bloody well older than me! I don’t know what to do!’ the woman wailed.

  The first thing Ruby wanted to ask was did her ex like the idea of having sex with a wrinkly geriatric but refrained. Then she glanced at the letter poking out of her bag, confirming the end of her own marriage.

  Ruby knew exactly what the caller was talking about.

  ‘They sometimes just don’t think,’ she blurted out, looking discreetly over her screen to see who was listening. ‘You know what, you’ll be okay. It’ll take time but if he can’t see what you’re worth, then he’s the arsehole.’

  ‘But I still love him.’

  ‘You don’t know any better right now and when you realise he’s a shit, well, it will all become clearer.’

  There was silence on the other end of the phone.

  ‘All I can say, the pain does go and you will survive. Gloria Gaynor knew what she was talking about when she booted her cheating man out.’

  Then Ruby heard a laugh and realised she’d been caught so she cleared her throat.

  ‘And I realise,’ she said, putting on her trained voice. ‘It is a very emotional and upsetting time for you.’ There was another laugh. ‘Feel free to talk to me.’

  Just as she said her last words Annette, an elderly co-worker, grinned. Ruby looked at her mentor, with her white hair tied into two pony tails, her friendly and gentle face which was now shaking from side to side.

  Some people said she’d worked with Florence Nightingale.

  Others said she volunteered for the Samaritans since it started in 1953 which Ruby believed.

  That also was untrue when she discovered Annette started the same time she had been born, some forty two years ago.

  Still, she’d been there long enough to know the ropes.

  Something which Ruby had a problem climbing, from time to time.

  Annette was in her mid-eighties and was the most competent Samaritan this side of the universe. She was kind and sweet, forgiving Ruby for her hundredth cock ups since she started volunteering.

  Or not, depending on what had been said and how funny it was.

  Ruby winced, knowing she’d been rumbled.

  ‘Don’t you ever learn?’ whispered Annette. ‘If Diane finds out, you know she’ll go bonkers.’

  ‘I’m just being honest,’ Ruby mouthed as the woman laughed quietly.

  ‘You tell it how it is and before you know it, you’re going to get booted out of here,’ the woman said softly. ‘They’ll just accuse you of giving bad advice.’

  ‘Yes, that’s right,’ sighed Ruby to the caller, remembering to put her little additions to the poor, inconsolable woman at the other end of the phone. She poked her tongue out at Annette then mouthed. ‘I give good advice.’

  Then she was distracted as something caught her eye on the computer screen. It was a small headline, on the news page of a website, about a lady murdered in her home.

  She had been a Samaritan.

  Ruby wondered if that was a sign to keep her mouth shut.

  Two

  He lay in bed, Riley sleeping next to him as his phone rang.

  ‘Jonathan Scott,’ Scottie said quietly, watching his son stir.

  ‘Scottie, it’s me, Diane.’

  ‘Hello,’ he sighed and knew his cousin had been making the rounds of email and calls for her impending birthday party. ‘How’s it all going?’

  ‘You are coming tomorrow, aren’t you? Are the kids turning up?’ she asked eagerly. ‘I really want you there.’

  ‘Charlie’s busy and the mothers want their children this weekend so I’ll be coming alone,’ he replied, not really wanting to go. ‘Unless I have to work.’

  ‘Sod that! You have to come,’ she said. He smiled at her annoyance. ‘It starts at three and no excuses. Please try and stick around for at least a couple of hours. Your mum and dad are coming. You’re so important doing goodness knows what, you need some fun!’

  ‘The Metropolitan Police like to keep their people busy,’ he said quietly. Riley’s eyes opened, staring straight at him. ‘And my child spent the night in my bed last night as he got scared watching a Disney film.’

  ‘Did not,’ groaned the seven year old while Scottie stroked his son’s blonde afro.

  ‘How I’ll miss not seeing him. Look, better go. See you tomorrow.’

  ‘See you then,’ Scottie said, putting down the phone and sighing.

  ‘Thought you said you didn’t want to go to Auntie Diane’s?’ his son asked accusingly with a cheeky grin. ‘Aren’t Katya or Charlie going?’

  ‘Charlie would probably prefer to chew off his own hand and Katya? Her mother said they’re busy. And your mother said I have to hand you back. You’re supposed to be going to the coast before the end of Easter holidays,’ he laughed when his cute son grimaced. ‘Come on Riley, it’ll be fun.’

  ‘I’d prefer to stay here with you.’

  ‘Don’t know why?’ Scottie laughed. ‘It’s bound to be another boring weekend in Barnes.’

  ‘We could always go and see Great Gwen. She’s funny.’

  ‘I’d rather go to Diane’s than spend an afternoon with your great grandmother,’ he winced, recalling her drunken antics from last month’s family lunch. ‘And she’s not funny, crazy, yes, but funny, no.’

  ‘I want to be just like her when I grow up,’ Riley said, beaming brightly, making Scottie’s heart crumble, knowing he’d miss his son when he went home. ‘Don’t you?’

  ‘I just want to be happy. And spending the afternoon round Auntie Diane’s certainly won’t bring a smile to my face.’

  Three

  ‘How’s it going?’ Ruby asked her son over Skype. ‘You look all tanned and gorgeous.’

  ‘It’s really hot,’ Theo said, blowing his long fringe out of his eyes. ‘And I don’t like the food. Dad wants me to try paella but it had all bits in it and I refused.’

  ‘You know what he’s like. He wants you to experience all sorts. How is he?’

  ‘Alright,’ her son shrugged. ‘We’re having fun.’

  ‘You’re flying back on Monday. Not long before you can be bored at home with me then back to school.’ Ruby laughed out loudly. ‘Has he got a girlfriend?’ She noticed Theo looked sheepishly away. ‘Hey, I don’t mind. We’re divorced and I expect there’s some woman floating around.’

  ‘He’s mentioned a few names and he keeps bumping into people he
knows. Dad knows a lot of women all over the place.’

  Ruby tried not to smile, knowing exactly what her ex was like. There was still the familiar sharp pain from the fact the cheating bastard could move on, whereas she was just left in limbo.

  ‘Dad asked if you were seeing anyone. I said, like you said before, fat chance!’

  ‘Thank you for your loyalty,’ she replied, seeing him smile as she blew him a kiss. ‘I’ve got to go to Diane’s party this afternoon. You’ll be missed.’

  ‘Have fun and don’t get drunk and start laughing too loudly. It’s embarrassing.’

  ‘You’re my son, not my parent but I’ll try not to.’

  Two large glasses of white wine later, Ruby was loosening up as she stood in Diane’s garden.

  She’d spent much of the afternoon composing her column for the paper and reading through all the emails, trying her hardest to reply to each one. Today other people’s problems were not her priority. All Ruby wanted to do was have a few drinks and then go home to order a takeaway curry for one.

  ‘Want a refill?’ her large friend asked.

  Wine was poured into Ruby’s glass before she could refuse.

  ‘You look amazing. Stop with the drink or I’ll pass out by five.’

  Diane was portly and very pretty. She had a smiley face. Her jet black bob was neatly cut and perfectly blow dried. Today she was wearing a rather large pink shift dress which made her look rosy.

  ‘Come on! It’s not every day you turn fifty five!’ Diane laughed out. ‘Anyway some of this lot think, because we volunteer for the Samaritans, we’re old bores. Silly arses!’

  ‘As long as they don’t start telling me their woes when I’m drunk, I’m fine. I’m liable to tell someone to jump if they threaten to.’ Ruby grinned and was met with an unimpressed glance from her friend. ‘Not that I would ever do such a thing!’

  ‘Don’t give us a bad name and I know, deep down, you wouldn’t but for goodness sake watch what you say. Mick was complaining about you laughing on the phone with a caller.’

  ‘Can’t I be happy? The poor man was upset so I told him a few jokes.’

  ‘Ruby!’ scowled Diane. ‘Some people think you don’t take it seriously.’

  ‘I take it very seriously,’ she replied, affronted by the accusation. ‘But all this sympathy crap, well sometimes you have to tell it straight because if you don’t, you’ll just go round in circles.’

  ‘Five years Ruby you’ve been doing this,’ sighed her friend, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder. ‘Maybe you should stick to writing for the paper as being in the Samaritans seems to wind you up.’

  ‘I want to be a Samaritan, I want to help,’ Ruby gulped. ‘I know I’m not particularly good at it but you know how it is.’

  ‘Your page in the paper, ‘Tell it how it is’, makes me laugh, it really does. And you’re good at getting straight to the point with your very refreshing advice,’ laughed Diane. ‘But Ruby, you can’t do that with the callers. They need some extra care.’

  ‘I know,’ she groaned. ‘I’m not that bad.’

  ‘You have a kind soul, deep down,’ Diane laughed, walking off.

  Standing in the garden, she knew her friend had a point.

  Sometimes she just wanted to scream down the phone that the husband would never change, the girlfriend would always be a slapper, the kid was just a thieving git and it wasn’t normal for your grandfather to take crack cocaine to alleviate his back pain.

  She couldn’t at the Samaritans.

  But she could on her problem page under her pseudo name of ‘Rebecca Martin’.

  It gave her a place to vent her honesty.

  Bluntness, other people would call it.

  Bad advice some had accused, mainly the other competitive agony aunts.

  She ignored them.

  Ruby smiled at the various relatives and friends scattered around then did a double take. She suddenly held her breath.

  There was an attractive man on the other side of the lawn speaking to a couple.

  They were laughing very loudly at what he was saying.

  Discreetly stepping to the side, she looked at him.

  He had short dark hair, very well built with sparkling blue eyes. Wearing a grey t-shirt and faded jeans, he was gorgeous. And his smile just lit up the place.

  Suddenly he glanced over and grinned. Immediately she looked over her shoulder to see if it was directed at someone else. There was no one standing behind her.

  A little flutter happened in her chest as she smiled back, feeling her cheeks go red.

  He was very handsome and, for a moment, she wondered if he was single then shook that thought out of her head.

  But there was something about him that kept drawing her eye.

  She took the opportunity to text her best friend, Jacinta.

  ‘Saw a fit guy, should I go for it?’ she sent.

  Within moments she got a reply.

  ‘Your divorce only came through a few weeks ago. And I thought you said you weren’t ever going to have sex again. Hee hee!’

  ‘Bad sex with a friend you used to go to school with was a disaster… and fast. It has been over a year since then and this one’s gorgeous.’

  ‘Ruby,’ the reply pinged within seconds. ‘Hugh is gorgeous too. And he still wants you back so…’

  Ruby gulped hard and knew her friend was right.

  She’d been hurt by her ex and couldn’t go down that route again, if ever.

  Ruby would never let anyone stomp on her heart, the way Hugh had done.

  Four

  He was trying his hardest not to ogle her, especially after she smiled back then suddenly went shy. She was standing under the marque talking to a young man who he knew worked with Diane at the Samaritans.

  Scottie tried to find a way to head over to her but his parents had cornered him.

  ‘It’s a shame the kids couldn’t come,’ his mother sighed, touching his arm for the umpteenth time. ‘That’s the problem of having kids with three different women, one adopted and two of your own.’

  ‘And I love all of them the same,’ Scottie added.

  ‘The mothers!’ laughed out his dad. ‘Only you could land yourself with an extended family like that. Son, you might have got the brains and career but you certainly didn’t get the know how, when it comes to women!’

  ‘Thing is Jack, he did get the ‘know how’. It’s just he doesn’t ‘know how’ to stop,’ his mother said with great authority, shaking her head solemnly.

  ‘Jean, you do make me laugh!’ said his father, chuckling loudly.

  ‘And we know where he gets it from!’

  Scottie smiled and discreetly glanced at the woman again.

  She was small and her skin was caramel and very silky, from the shine bouncing from her arm. Her hair was dark, curly and long. The package was absolutely gorgeous.

  Then his eyes flicked over her body. She was slim with knockout curves in all the places he loved.

  ‘Are you listening to me?’ Jean said. He knew she noticed he was eyeing the woman up. ‘Get the kids to come round for lunch in a couple of weeks. I know Lady Krista will probably be doing something posh with her friends but I’d love to see my granddaughter. It’s been months. And get Charlie to bring his young lady.’

  ‘How comes Nana Gwen’s not here?’ he asked, trying to change the subject as his mother pursed her lips.

  He knew his naughty Nana Gwen had probably wound her up about something. His dad started to laugh.

  ‘Your wayward grandmother decided it was more fun at her place as she could get drunk and probably, what were her words Jean?’

  ‘Don’t you dare! You know how she likes to annoy me.’

  ‘She said she might score some weed off the oldies who’d been prescribed it for their ailments,’ laughed his dad. ‘One day I expect you’ll have to arrest your dear old Nana.’

  ‘I’ll try,’ Scottie replied laughing then noticed the woman was walking awa
y, heading towards the drinks table. ‘I’m going to get a top up. Do you want one?’

  ‘Something caught your eye?’ his mother sniffed.

  ‘Scottie?’ his father laughed.

  Quickly he walked towards her, trying hard not to smile in anticipation of making polite conversation.

  ‘Scottie!’ Diane said, pulling him out of his line of fire, to drag him away. ‘I want you to meet some of my friends who volunteer with me.’

  ‘I don’t want to meet people who work at the Samaritans, thanks very much. They might break out into song and start banging their tambourines.’

  ‘That’s the bloody Salvation Army!’ Diane sniffed, giving him a big hug. ‘I’m so pleased you’re here and, as you know, I don’t tell people you’re a copper. Not good for my street cred.’

  Scottie laughed as Diane flicked her hair.

  ‘Where’s your husband?’ he smiled, noticing Diane’s pretty adopted teenage daughter, Petra, standing very close to someone who he could only think was her boyfriend. ‘I notice she’s hooked up with someone.’

  ‘God Scottie, don’t be giving him one of your drills. It’s bad enough with Larry trying to find fault with every boy she brings home. He’s the ultimate possessive father and you don’t help matters,’ she gasped, shaking her head. ‘After last year, you scared off that lovely boy she brought to your parents anniversary party.’

  ‘He was trying to score dope off me!’ the man laughed out. ‘What was I supposed to do?’

  ‘You could have at least told him you were a copper?’

  ‘It was more fun seeing his face drop when you did the deed on my behalf.’

  ‘Right,’ she said, standing in front of him and grinning. ‘You have a desk job in local government, okay. Don’t mention the fuzz.’

  ‘And I thought you were proud of me?’ he sarcastically replied as she swivelled him around.

  Scottie stopped.

  The woman he’d been drooling over was standing directly in front of him.

  Close up she was gorgeous and when she smiled, he was distracted.

  ‘What is it with you?’ Diane huffed. ‘Excuse my cousin, he doesn’t get out much. This is Ruby, like I said before.’