Bitter Sweet Kisses Read online

  Bitter Sweet Kisses

  S M Mala

  Published by S M Mala

  Copyright © S M Mala 2016

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any forms or by any means, including photocopying, recording or any other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher/author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  All characters in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

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  ISBN: 978-0-9928364-8-1

  Sometimes your first choice isn’t always the right one.

  ‘Where are you, Harry?’

  Sophie had walked into the room and couldn’t find her husband. She was now speaking to him on the phone, wondering where he had gone to.

  ‘I popped out,’ he said, sounding breathless.

  ‘I didn’t see you outside,’ she replied, not recognising anyone in the place but noticing the headline about a dating agency who were a bit underhand.

  Their name was ‘Love to Love’.

  It reminded her of Harry and his need for love and to be loved in return. Even now, she didn’t know where she stood with him.

  So many rumours she had heard about the man she married.

  One set said he was a womaniser, breaking hearts left right and centre.

  The other set was far more secretive, regarding his tastes in the same sex.

  Neither one Sophie had witnessed but she did note he had an ambiguous manner where you could never tell which way he swung. And that was how he became so successful; flirting with both women and men. It was a lethal combination as he was also blessed in the looks and charm department.

  This is what hooked her in, against her better judgement.

  But in the past year, he had become more distant, and when she announced her pregnancy, very critical and dismissive of her.

  She knew how this worked when one partner wanted to manipulate and tear the other’s confidence to pieces. Still Sophie couldn’t fathom why the man she married would subject her to the slow drip torture.

  That’s what it felt like.

  It was as if he wanted to hurt her and make Sophie feel unloved.

  And it was certainly working, but she knew better.

  Sophie wasn’t going to let it get to her, but on a few occasions, it had got to the point she wondered what she was doing with him. At those times when his words would stab at her more than she could ever realise, he became kind and apologetic, sometimes blaming work.

  A certain song would almost enter her head every time she was in doubt about him, and then she’d play it, hoping to find some solace, but Lauryn Hill’s version of ‘Killing me softly’, didn’t make it feel any better.

  Because that’s what it felt like Harry was doing to her.

  Killing her love for him due to his actions and words, he might as well have hurt her permanently.

  But she wondered if he knew what he was doing and if he cared. When she confronted him, there was a look of confusion and concern.

  Then the man she married and fell in love with would reappear, and everything would be forgotten, until the next time. He would kiss her and she’d inhale the alcohol on his breath.

  They were like bitter kisses.

  Once they were sweet but not anymore.

  And never once did that song leave her head.

  Right now, he wasn’t where he said he was going to be, and a party was the last place she wanted to be. Her shyness would creep over and the idea of speaking to people she didn’t know made her feel uncomfortable.

  And it was only a few weeks earlier the morning sickness had subsided.

  At twenty-five weeks pregnant, she was relieved. Stroking her baby bump, she went towards the bar and ordered a sparkling water.

  Then she noticed him.

  A tall man with medium brown hair, dark eyes with an engaging smile.

  It was sudden, the flip in her gut, but she couldn’t fathom out her instant attraction. She knew being pregnant had a weird effect on her emotions. But there was something that drew her in.

  Sophie had to look away.

  Staring at a man while carrying another man’s child was not a good sign.

  Sipping her drink and examining her watch, Sophie couldn’t help it. Her eyes were going back to where this man was standing, and she was trying her hardest to stop it.

  Then he caught her eye and smiled.

  Sophie knew she was blushing.

  All she hoped was that he didn’t know her husband.

  That would be in poor taste.

  Right then, she truly wished she wasn’t married.

  ‘Who knows?’

  Jonah was stood with a small group of people. ‘You know what Harry’s like.’

  ‘The problem is that man will get caught one day,’ whispered Natalie, shaking her head of tight grey-brown ringlets. Today her clothing ensemble just flanked her skinny frame. It was clear she thought bright colours would heighten her non-existent curves, not give you eye strain from the clashing theme. ‘He’s such a selfish man. I don’t know how you can stand to be in the same room as him.’

  Natalie was Jonah’s manager and Harry was his agent.

  She didn’t like Harry and never disguised the fact. Jonah knew not to speak about him too much. It only made Natalie angry as she didn’t trust the man.

  Harry’s reputation proceeded him, and they both knew he would happily love for Jonah to dump Natalie so he could take control. But Jonah wasn’t stupid. He needed a second, honest opinion, which Harry seemed to lack from time to time.

  Everyone said Jonah was on the verge of something big, and it was only a matter of time. The assignments were coming thick and fast but they were a long way off what he wanted to do.

  Then he saw the woman walk in, speaking on the phone and he didn’t know what happened.

  It was lust at first sight.

  Her skin was light brown. He wasn’t quite sure of the ethnic mix but that didn’t matter. The red dress she was wearing emphasised her round breasts and the glistening texture of her body. Her hair hung half way down her back in loose waves and she had a long fringe.

  A beauty.

  All in all, the package was seriously appealing.

  And there was no doubt the amount of eye contact going on.

  ‘Who are you looking at?’ Natalie asked as he diverted his eyes. ‘Is Onya here?’

  ‘She’s busy tonight,’ he replied and looked over at the woman. ‘Do you want another drink? I’m going to the bar.’

  ‘I’ve still not drunk this one. Jesus, if Harry walks in, protect me from his bullshit.’

  Jonah decided to stand next to the woman. She smiled and sipped her drink.

  ‘Do you know anyone here?’ he asked, then spotted the wedding ring.

  Instantly deflated, he decided to continue the conversation.

  The bottom line was that he had a girlfriend and this would be friendly banter.

  ‘I’m waiting for my husband,’ she replied, looking shyly at him. ‘He’s late for a change.’

  ‘If I were your husband, I certainly wouldn’t be late.’

  She laughed and then blushed. Her eyes were intense dark brown and she had long black lashes.

  Jonah couldn’t stop staring.

  ‘Oh, here he is,’ she said,
turning to look at someone.

  This is when he would see that a beautiful woman like her was married to some ugly man.

  As he looked over, he noticed Harry James was walking towards them.

  People parted as he passed through.

  Tall, dark and handsome in stature with a light tan, which only made his sparkling blue eyes stand out even more, Harry looked the part of a shrewd agent.

  The smile bright white, the teeth perfectly straight.

  His skill was in his ability to talk people into things and his looks tied up the package perfectly.

  Jonah couldn’t help but smile, seeing he had spotted the beautiful woman and was making a beeline.

  ‘Hey,’ Harry said, putting his arm around her and not looking overly keen. ‘I see you’ve met my wife.’

  Jonah stood there in shock.

  Never once had Harry mentioned he was married.

  It was common knowledge the man was a philanderer, with both sexes, as rumour had it.

  But to see he was married to a woman who Jonah had lusted after not only ten minutes ago, simply left him speechless.

  ‘I’m Sophie.’

  She held out her hand and the man shook it.

  ‘And this is Jonah,’ Harry said, giving her a little squeeze. ‘The man who is going to make me very rich.’

  ‘You’re Jonah Bauer,’ Sophie said, seeing the confusion in Jonah’s eyes. ‘I’ve seen your work and it’s amazing. Harry’s always talking about you, saying you’re a brilliant talent.’

  ‘Thanks,’ he said, smiling.

  ‘You didn’t expect my wife to be so beautiful?’ Harry laughed.

  ‘I never knew you had a wife,’ the man honestly replied, making Sophie smile uncomfortably.

  ‘That’s Harry all over. He likes to keep secrets.’

  She turned and looked up at him; his bright wide, mischievous, smile which made people swoon.

  When she first laid eyes on him, three years earlier, Sophie knew he was the type of guy you could never tie down.

  Or trust.

  And she knew she hadn’t really done so on both accounts.

  Harry was guarded and Sophie didn’t always know what he did and where he went.

  But one thing she was sure about; he loved her in his own way.

  ‘Look, I better mingle,’ Harry said, looking around eagerly. ‘Part of the job.’

  ‘But I’ve only got here,’ she said, knowing he would be getting drunk, and sniffing out business.

  Or just trying to get away from her, which was his recent ploy.

  ‘Jonah, would you look after her for me?’ he said over his shoulder, walking away. ‘She’s not that bad.’

  ‘You don’t have to,’ she sighed, trying not to look too deflated. Sometimes Harry would forget how uncomfortable it made her, dealing with new people. ‘I can find a chair and sit.’

  ‘Do you want a proper drink?’ he asked, getting a bottle of beer.

  ‘I can’t. I’m pregnant.’

  Again, this man looked shocked and then smiled.

  ‘You’re married to Harry James and having his baby,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘I’ve known him for a year and there’s been no sign of you. He really is an enigma.’

  ‘That’s one way of putting it,’ she honestly replied, trying not to look embarrassed but feeling her cheeks burn.

  ‘How did you meet?’

  ‘My friend, Kay Clifford, introduced us.’

  ‘I’ve met her a few times. How do you know her?’

  ‘Through mutual friends.’

  Sophie was examining the exceptionally handsome man, and couldn’t stop looking at his face. He was beautiful and his eyes were drawing her in.

  ‘You have pretty eyes,’ she said, realising what had come out of her mouth then caught Harry watching the pair.

  She looked straight down at her hands, trying not to hold her breath from embarrassment.

  ‘Thank you, and so do you.’

  ‘You don’t have to get stuck with me,’ she said, knowing she was going the colour of her dress. ‘I’ll be fine.’

  ‘I don’t mind. It might be fun.’

  Again she caught Harry’s eye but noticed he was looking at Jonah, probably wondering if his wife was making a good impression.

  He obviously didn’t trust her enough not to embarrass him, which she was paranoid about. There were a few times he had told her best not to say too much to his colleagues because in his line of business it would look bad.

  That’s why she stopped attending events with him in the past six months.

  The idea of him making her feel like she wasn’t good enough was humiliating enough, but being pregnant would only disturb her very fragile hormones.

  But now she was looking at the man Harry spoke about non-stop, to the point she thought her husband might like him more than he was letting on.

  Sophie could certainly see the attraction and didn’t want to ask him if he was gay.

  It would be too obvious she was sniffing for some information. Though it crossed her mind most weeks that Harry would eventually walk out on her one day.

  She didn’t know why, but something didn’t feel secure in their relationship as if they were on shaky foundations.

  The feeling had crept in the day she announced she was expecting their child.

  ‘That’s different.’

  Jonah had managed to find a table out of the way from the noise, so that Sophie could sit down. On closer inspection, he could see a round bump under her dress. And he couldn’t stop looking at her. ‘A woman’s refuge?’

  It was odd because she was constantly glancing at him.

  If they were both single, Jonah knew he would be in there like a shot.

  Even married to his agent and knocked up, Sophie was beautiful.

  ‘We’re poles apart. Harry is gregarious and confident and I feel awkward most of the time. It’s hard to keep up,’ she said, sipping her drink then tucking her hair behind her ears. ‘He has this glamorous life, and I have my real one.’

  ‘Why did you want to do that?’

  ‘I had a friend when I was a teenager, many years ago, who met this guy who was wonderful. The thing is, he started to treat her mean, saying shitty things, but she thought she could cope. It was when the beating began it changed. Angela went to the police, but at the time, they didn’t do anything. Then it got out of hand.’ Sophie bit her lip. ‘She felt she had no choice so fought back one night.’ She hesitated. ‘He killed her.’

  ‘That’s really bad,’ he replied, seeing her sad expression.

  ‘All these things you never think about when you fall in love. I studied social work and decided this was the path I wanted to concentrate on. I never forgot what happened. I needed to do something to stop this and support these women… and men occasionally.’

  ‘You’re amazing!’ he said, really meaning it. ‘You must think all of this is shallow.’

  ‘Not at all. It’s horses for courses, as they say. I don’t really like parties because…’ Sophie grimaced.

  ‘You’re quite shy.’

  ‘Silly isn’t it? I clam up and Harry, poor thing, is left with me dumbstruck.’ Sophie let out an uncomfortable little laugh. ‘Opposites attract, or so they say.’ Sophie turned to look at him. ‘How are you finding working with Harry? I know he’s a hard task master.’

  ‘He’s unique.’

  And all the time, he wondered if Sophie knew about her husband’s inability to keep it in his pants. For a moment, he figured she might be very stupid not to know, or the fact Harry was a good liar.

  This he knew.

  To Jonah, it was evident why he didn’t want Sophie to go out with him.

  There were too many people who knew his business. By having her work in an area totally alien, Harry would be able to carry on as normal.

  ‘How do you cope with his hours?’ he asked, interested to see if she knew what he was up to.

  ‘Recently I’ve turned into a nine to
five worker but Harry won’t change, I know it. He is forty-four years old and thinks he’s twenty-four, nearer your age.’

  ‘That’s sweet,’ he laughed. ‘But I recently turned thirty. How old are you?’

  ‘Thirty-five,’ she whispered and he noticed she rubbed her tummy. ‘And six months, if you count this.’

  Shockingly, Jonah wasn’t put off that she had a baby in her tummy.

  There was something very sexy about it. He couldn’t help but smile.

  ‘And yes, I realise Harry is not perfect father material let alone husband,’ she sighed. Then he noticed the look of concern. ‘I’m not quite sure if he ever will be.’

  ‘Well, aren’t you lucky to meet me then,’ he smiled and looked into her eyes. ‘I’ve got nieces and nephews, so I’m a dab hand at changing nappies.’

  She laughed and that drew her to him.

  There was something about Sophie James he couldn’t put his finger on but she was lovely as she was gorgeous plus endearingly shy.

  And he desperately wanted to find out more about the woman married to Harry James.

  ‘Harry, stop!’

  He was drunk and trying to put his hand up her dress while they were at the front door. ‘People will see!’

  ‘I want to fuck my wife,’ he whispered into her ear, reeking of scotch.

  ‘I doubt you can get it up considering how pissed you are.’ Sophie started to laugh, hoping he couldn’t. The last thing she wanted was to have sex with her drunk husband. ‘Go in and be quiet.’

  Opening the door, she pushed him in and watched Harry stagger down the corridor.

  Sophie knew right from the start that Harry was not into commitment, but he had surprised her when he proposed a year after being together.

  No-one, including her, had seen that coming.

  She had resigned herself to living in sin with him for the rest of her life if she could put up with him for that long.

  To be honest, she had given it five years tops, keeping that bit of information to herself.

  Even at the wedding, she knew guests were whispering to see if the marriage would last a month. It was immediately noted by all and sundry he didn’t want to wear a wedding ring.