Love's Foolish Punch Read online

  ‘I’m going to have a shower as I’ll get stuck in the bath if I go in,’ she said, shaking her head and standing up.

  ‘He fancies you?’

  ‘Excuse me? Don’t sound so shocked!’ she said, pulling off her boots and flinging them to the side. ‘I’m not that unattractive, you know. An acquired taste, some may say, but I’ve had my fair share of offers!’

  ‘I'm not being rude but Bill rarely fancies anyone, let alone gives them the time of day.’

  ‘I think he feels sorry for me being engaged to you.’

  ‘And what did he say about me?’

  ‘You’re a cautious man when it comes to the opposite sex. You’re a failed footballer. You have a fit body. How does he know the last one?’ she asked, taking off her shirt and putting it on the side. ‘And I said you were broken hearted about your recent split and he said you were more pissed off. And talking of pissed off, I am now pissed off because I’m sober again!’

  Walking into the bathroom, it took her five minutes to figure out how the wet room worked. Then she took off her clothes and looked at the free shampoo and conditioner from a very expensive brand.

  She stood underneath the hot pellets of water and sighed. The steam was filling the area, and all she wanted to do was relax.

  ‘And he didn’t say anything else?’

  ‘What the fuck!’ she screamed.

  Jamie was standing behind her, stark bollock naked.

  Molly was about to cover her bits.

  ‘I’ve seen it now, so there’s no point,’ he replied, walking past her and going under the large stream of water. Then he turned and looked down. ‘I’m not saying I don’t understand why he fancies you. What I meant was, why is he chatting you up? He knows you’re with me.’

  ‘I could ask you the same question. Why are you knocking off his wife when she’s married to him? He’s gorgeous Jamie. Jesus Christ, the man is hot!’

  ‘You fancy him!’ he said in an accusing tone. ‘You can’t!’

  ‘I can fancy who I like,’ she said, stepping in front to be closer to the stream of water.

  He them moved towards the dial and water started jettisoning out from all over the place, making Molly jump.

  The steam made it less embarrassing, but Molly managed to check Jamie out.

  He was fit as a fiddle, and his bow seemed to be of a nice size.

  Then she was caught gawping and turned around.

  ‘He now knows we haven’t had sex,’ he grumbled.

  ‘I’m frigid.’

  ‘Not if you snog me like you did, earlier on!’

  ‘I won’t do it again!’ she said, getting the shower gel and rubbing it all over.

  Jamie grabbed it out of her hand and squirted it on this chest. They looked at each other, and he started to smile.

  Molly turned around and grabbed the conditioner, emptying the contents of a small bottle in her hand before running it through her hair. Then she quickly glanced over her shoulder to catch him eyeing her up and down.

  ‘Are you feeling better?’ he asked, pushing her out of the way and putting his head under the shower. ‘I was worried after last Saturday that you wouldn’t be up for doing this.’

  ‘It was a blip and I’m fine now.’ She let out a little sigh and watched him shower before looking at his package then quickly diverting her eyes back up. ‘I won’t throw a wobbly or cry again. I think it was down to being tired, hung over and-.’

  ‘Shocked your ex was on the box?’ he said, looking down at her. ‘Tell me something. Are you still in love with him? Is that the real problem?’

  Standing there, she waited for the conditioner to work and noticed he wanted an answer.

  ‘I thought he’d ask me to marry him, once his career was on the right track. I didn’t think that he’d want to split. The signs were there, but I hoped I was wrong.’

  She hated saying it. Admitting she knew they weren’t meant for each other.

  ‘What were the signs?’

  ‘He wasn’t around much, like I said. Sam is very touchy feely, and that never stopped but it changed.’

  ‘Less sex?’ Jamie said, blinking the water out of his eyes.

  ‘It happens.’

  Turning to avoid eye contact, she rinsed the conditioner out.

  ‘How less?’ he continued.

  ‘A lot less than the average married couple who have been together for thirty years, and she has a dodgy hip.’

  Jamie spun her around and leaned closer to her face.

  ‘In English, Molly.’

  ‘Hardly at all in the last few years.’

  ‘That explains the kiss. You’re gagging for it!’ the man laughed out which instantly pissed Molly off.

  She shook her head, squeezing out her hair and went straight towards the towels on the rack. It was humiliating to know that someone you loved didn’t want you.

  ‘Other people do find me attractive!’ she barked. ‘I’ve just not met anyone recently, other than Bill and he’s married.’

  Wrapping her hair and then her body in the towels, she walked into the bedroom and pulled out the dressing gown.

  Then she heard Jamie singing out loudly from the shower. His song of choice was ‘Don’t go breaking my heart’ by Elton John and Kiki Dee. He sang like he was being strangled. It would be funny if it weren't for the fact the song seemed poignant.

  Molly had been Sam’s clown, and she had given him her heart from the start.

  After putting the dressing gown on, she went to the fridge and poured a glass of champagne, drinking it very quickly then had another one. She wasn’t quite sure if she could cope with a whole afternoon, evening and morning in the company of Jamie.

  Somehow, she suspected he was intent on winding her up.

  ‘Leave me alone!’

  Molly was trying to take a nap, and Jamie kept blowing her face. ‘I need to sleep.’

  ‘That’s because you had half a bottle of bubbly while I was in the shower.’

  ‘I figured you’d be vain enough to spend ages in the bathroom based on your toiletry bag.’ She grinned at her comment, opening her eyes to see him looking at her. He was in his dressing gown and at eye level. ‘Go for a walk or do something other than bothering me.’

  ‘We need to spend time together.’

  ‘On the allotted days we have done in the past three weeks, you’ve never been around in the evenings and I fleetingly see you in the mornings. Just because you’re bored, don’t try to annoy me.’

  He was now staring, and she did the same back.

  ‘I didn’t mean that men wouldn’t find you attractive,’ Jamie whispered. ‘I had a lot of positive comments about you downstairs. That was even after I told them you were related to Squirrel.’

  She laughed and shook her head as Jamie smiled.

  ‘I told Bill you probably fell in love with me because I’m the female equivalent to my cousin.’ Molly let out a sigh. ‘Why don’t you like him? He seems very nice.’

  Jamie closed his eyes. She started to grin while admiring his face.

  ‘What are you smiling at?’ he said, his eyes still shut.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Were you checking me out?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You were certainly checking me out in the shower.’

  ‘You were naked. What was I supposed to do?’ she replied and closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him. ‘What are you up to, Jamie?’

  ‘Certainly not you, if you’re telling people you’ve got a sex problem. That’s totally understandable now as you’ve not had it for years.’

  ‘For your information, little boy, I-.’

  ‘I’m not little and you know it!’ he laughed.

  ‘I’m not talking to you,’ she said and turned around the other way, so she could face the window. ‘Sex isn’t everything.’

  ‘It isn’t anything if you’re not having any.’

  ‘I think you’re a slut!’

  Jamie started to laugh loud
ly, and she didn’t want to turn around.

  ‘You have moral values of a slug,’ she continued, folding her arms across her body.

  Still he laughed.

  ‘Oh, go to sleep and leave me alone!’

  The next thing, he’d flung his arm around her, snuggling into the back of her head. Molly was stuck as he’d managed to lock both her arms in his hug.

  ‘I don’t want you to get hurt by anyone again other than me.’

  ‘Why’s that?’ she sighed, seeing he wasn’t going to let her sleep.

  ‘You’ll fall in love with me and that’s going to hurt you the most. More than that Sam Price bloke who is obviously gay.’

  She had to laugh at his conceit and the insult about her ex.

  ‘I’ll get over it,’ she insincerely replied.

  ‘The thing is Molly Drew, I’m not sure you will.’

  ‘Keep an open mind.’

  Jamie was undoing the clothes holdall hanging up on the wardrobe. ‘And don’t just say ‘no’ for the sake of it.’

  ‘I might not have the right underwear,’ she replied.

  He managed to let her sleep for thirty five minutes in his strangle hold then got up, banging around and making as much noise as possible. Molly knew he was doing it purposely.

  Now he was parading in his slim fitting underpants, trying to convince her to wear something he’d brought along. This was a distraction, and he knew it.

  ‘I got the underwear, and even the shoes covered,’ he replied. ‘Black shoes go with everything and I take it you’re not the sort of person to co-ordinate totally.’

  He held up two dresses.

  One was blue, and the other was purple. Both a simple classic cut.

  ‘I think they’re sensible and sophisticated,’ Jamie said, holding one in each hand.

  ‘Two things I’m not.’

  ‘You can pretend.’

  ‘Fine. I’ll wear the purple one.’

  ‘Wear the blue. It’ll match my tie.’

  Flinging herself back on the bed, Molly looked at the four poster bed before sitting back up.

  ‘This is a party we’re going to, not a christening,’ she said, watching him frown. ‘And we sit down for dinner then we’re allowed to be let loose on the dance floor. Woo hee! And did you get Bill a present?’

  ‘All sorted.’

  ‘I see. And what time do we have to go downstairs?’

  ‘Six thirty to seven thirty for cocktails.’

  Jamie held the blue dress up and then hung it in the wardrobe.

  Molly didn’t think the clothes were awful, but they were ideally designed for someone who was very thin with no tits and arse. Probably the sort of woman Jamie liked. Knowing she packed her pull in pants, it wouldn’t be an ordeal. She watched Jamie walk to his other case and pull out a box with a pair of shoes.

  They were wedges and far nicer than the dresses. Then he held up a bra and grinned.

  ‘Shall I help you try it on?’ he asked cheekily before picking up a pair of small briefs. ‘And these?’

  Getting to her feet slowly, she walked up to him and took the items out of his hands.

  ‘So I’m stuck with you all evening?’ she asked, getting the knickers and twirling them around her finger. ‘And it’s too early to get changed as it’s only four.’

  ‘I thought we’d go for a walk so I could brief you on tonight.’

  ‘It’s cold, and I want to chill here,’ she moaned, looking around the lovely room.

  ‘We need some fresh air then I can go through the ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ for the evening.’

  ‘You’re giving me rules?’ Molly shook her head. ‘I can behave, thanks very much. I think you’re taking the Doctor Doolittle thing a little too far, don’t you?’

  ‘I want to help,’ he said gently, touching her face with his fingers.

  She slapped him away.

  ‘I’ve got rules for you,’ she said, walking to her clothes thrown over a chair and taking off her dressing gown, not caring if he got a glimpse of her wobbly bottom. ‘Firstly, you can’t come into the shower when I’m there. Secondly, stop prancing around in your underwear if you think that’s going to distract me. Thirdly, I want a bit of respect as I know how to behave. You’ve not pulled me off the streets and-.’

  ‘Fourthly, I think you’re very sexy so don’t try and slip your tongue in when we kiss because I might have to take things further,’ Jamie said, starting to laugh. ‘Once you’ve had a piece of me, you’ll be begging for more.’

  ‘And you wonder why you’re single!’ she said, turning to look at him with only her knickers on. ‘You’re incredibly conceited, do you know that? I’m going to fall in love with you? I’ll be begging for more? Give me a break!’

  She put on her bra and stood in her underwear looking at him.

  There was a smirk on his lips, and she wasn’t quite sure what was amusing.

  ‘You were very nice on Sunday, do you know that?’ she said quietly, stepping closer. ‘And now, today, you’re full of yourself. Where’s the real Jamie?’

  ‘Here,’ he said, flicking the front of his underpants. ‘Want to see?’

  ‘Little boy.’

  ‘I’m not little.’ Then he thought for a second. ‘You like your men older? Sam must have been, how old?’

  ‘Thirty-seven.’

  ‘But you fancy Bill who’s fifty.’

  ‘It makes a change from being surrounded by stupid thirty something men who think they know me and treat me like a fool. I’m going to aim for old and sophisticated men.’

  ‘He’s seventeen years older than you!’

  ‘And how old’s Chloe?’ she said, starting to smile. ‘You should be pleased someone has taken a shine to me.’

  ‘Not Bill,’ he said, his smile fading.

  ‘He’s not your dad, is he?’ Knowing he wasn’t, Molly saw the look of irritation she received from her fake fiancé. ‘Oh, come on! I’m not going to do anything with anyone. You know the history of my appalling sex life and shattered love affair. I’m using this time with you to try and shake off the bad feelings I had.’

  Jamie walked past her and went to sit on the bed. He was looking at her again.

  Molly then bent her legs and started shaking her thighs which made him smile before realising her aches and pains from the three days boxing training had come back.

  ‘And this free training that you’ve given me, might tone me up,’ she said hobbling to the bed, sitting next to him. ‘I’ll do my best to be convincing and won’t let you down. Squirrel seems to adore you and Mr Mac will probably sit on me if I cock this up. The last thing I want is to see you get hurt, okay?’

  He nodded and smiled.

  ‘I’m a bit worried, that’s all,’ he said, taking a deep breath. ‘I don’t want us to end in the bottom of the Thames.’

  ‘With these lovely large things,’ she said, wobbling her thighs. ‘Be safe in the knowledge we’ll float to the top.’

  ‘Where are you?’

  Jamie sounded agitated on the mobile. ‘You’re supposed to be here.’

  ‘Five minutes,’ Molly replied and hung up on him.

  She’d changed from his suggested outfit and put on something she’d brought along.

  Once upon a time, she would go out lots and had so many dresses. But the ones she didn’t give away were now in covers and hung in her wardrobe.

  Since Sam walked out, they’d not come out at all.

  Today she was going to give one of them a try.

  It was a blue dress that hugged her waist and made her look like a woman, but less of a curvy lady in a condom, which is what Jamie’s dresses did.

  She knew he’d hate it, but even the underwear he bought was so wrong shape wise, she had no intention of putting it on.

  Checking herself in the mirror, Molly smiled at the woman she recognised from years back. The make-up tips from Sienna and her earrings finished the look.

  All she had to do was face Jamie and prete
nd to be in love.

  This was going to be hard for him when he’d see she hadn’t done what he wanted.

  ‘Ah, bollocks,’ she whispered, spraying perfume.

  Taking her clutch bag and checking she had her lipstick, powder and key card, Molly walked down to the cocktail bar.

  It seemed the whole hotel was booked out for the party from the noise coming her way. Slowly, she walked down the stairs in her new shoes. He was rubbish at clothes but very good with footwear, she thought, holding the bannister and being careful not to fall.

  Molly smiled at the people congregating in the reception area with their drinks and was trying to work out what cocktails were being served.

  Then she caught Bill’s eye, who turned to look up at her. He smiled, and Molly thought she was going to blush from the expression on his face.

  He walked to the bottom of the stairs as she went down.

  ‘You look absolutely stunning,’ he said, kissing her hand.

  ‘You’re fifty and, like I said, your eyesight’s going,’ Molly giggled.

  It was then she noticed Jamie was staring at her, his mouth open. Slowly he shook his head from side to side.

  She smiled, knowing he was pissed off.

  ‘And you look very handsome, Bill,’ she said, turning her attention to the mature hunk standing next to her. ‘What a great turn out!’

  ‘I have lots of friends.’

  ‘Hello darling,’ a woman said, a few inches taller than Molly.

  It was obviously the wife.

  The perfectly dyed, long blonde hair, trim figure and elegantly dressed. She was very pretty and looked like an ex-model.

  ‘Ah, let me introduce you,’ Bill said. Molly noticed he hadn’t stopped looking at her and was still smiling. ‘This is my wife.’

  ‘Really pleased to me you,’ Molly said, putting her hand and noticing the stagnant grin on the woman’s face. ‘I’m Molly.’

  ‘Chloe, she’s Jamie’s fiancé.’

  That sentence just summed it all up for Molly.

  ‘There you are!’

  Jamie had rushed up to them as Molly looked at Chloe then at Bill and lastly at Jamie. ‘I was worried.’

  ‘Your Jamie’s fiancé?’ Chloe spluttered over her words.