Love's Foolish Punch Read online

  ‘Because when people do research on other people it’s usually down to the fact they’re unsure about them.’

  ‘I am unsure about you.’

  Looking straight into his eyes, she didn’t know how to respond.

  ‘Why?’ she asked, stirring her tea. ‘Is there something that doesn’t make sense?’

  ‘Jamie and you don’t make sense.’ Bill cleared his throat and leaned forward. ‘He’s never mentioned you until recently and, I don’t know how to put this, but do you know much about him?’

  ‘I’m learning.’

  She watched him examine her face, and he was deep in thought.

  ‘Are you sure he’s got your best interests at heart?’ Bill asked, raising his eyebrows.

  ‘I’m sure he has,’ she said, not knowing if that was the truth. ‘I hope he has.’

  Their food arrived, and they ate in silence.

  ‘You told me that Danika was probably in love with someone else. Various people have told me she slept around, and Jamie was the last to know. The main aim of his life is to make sure the gyms do well.’ Molly thought hard. ‘He lives in a nice flat.’

  ‘And where is that?’

  ‘Holland Park,’ she said and noticed he raised his eyebrows. ‘I spend a few nights there a week.’ Then he frowned. ‘And he comes round to mine.’

  Bill started to smile.

  Her palms started to sweat because she didn’t know what was coming next.

  ‘Beatrice loved Bert the Baboon,’ he suddenly said, making her sit bolt right up. ‘Yes, I know you were the puppeteer and voice. It was a sad state of affairs you guys getting your show pulled.’

  ‘All because Tommy was pulling off some man in a public place.’ Molly let out an annoyed groan. ‘And still, to this day, he hasn’t apologised for ruining my career and income.’ Then she hesitated. ‘What else do you know?’

  ‘Sam Price.’

  ‘Ah.’

  Immediately she felt upset and sick but tried her hardest to cover it.

  ‘It wasn’t a good time for you, was it?’

  ‘I’m getting there.’

  ‘And still you want to get involved with Jamie?’ Bill glanced at her engagement ring. ‘He’s a smart kid, I’ll give him that.’

  There was a flicker in his face that made her wonder what he was thinking.

  ‘Don’t you like him?’ she asked quietly.

  ‘He’s a little rough diamond and a smooth one, when he wants something.’

  ‘But you don’t like him?’

  ‘He’s a sweet boy who shouldn’t play with the big boys.’

  ‘And what does that mean?’ Immediately she felt defensive. ‘He wants to do well.’

  ‘Out from beneath the shadow of his brother,’ Bill smiled and then laughed. ‘Sticking up for him. That’s sweet.’

  ‘Why did you want to see me?’ she asked, watching her egg run all over her food when she sliced into it. ‘There’s obviously something on your mind.’

  Bill ate, and so did Molly, but she was finding it hard to digest.

  ‘Don’t let Jamie use you, okay? At the end of the day he cares about himself, nothing more or nothing less.’

  ‘That’s unfair.’

  ‘I’m not a fool, Molly.’

  She looked at Bill straight in the eye, and he seemed extremely serious.

  ‘I never thought you were.’

  ‘Then don’t treat me like I am.’ He gulped, pushing his empty plate away. ‘But that’s not what I wanted to speak to you about.’

  ‘Right?’ she said, finishing her food and putting her napkin over her mouth.

  ‘I think you have a talent. Beatrice used to watch the show all the time. I always felt Tommy Halo wasn’t the right presenter to work with Bert, and you are funny.’

  ‘The baboon’s funny not me,’ she grimaced.

  ‘Where did you find the puppet?’

  ‘My grandma made if for me because, at the time, I liked monkeys. Well, the funny old dear thought it was hilarious to make me a baboon, based on the bare bottom. I hated that bloody thing when she gave it to me. Then years later, I heard they were looking for a new sort of gimmick for a kid’s show, and I auditioned with Bert. I got the job and had to work with Tommy.’ She grimaced. ‘I’ve not heard from that shit since he got arrested.’

  ‘And then you got the sack?’

  ‘Bad publicity and binning the show was easy because the innuendo about that baboon’s arse and Tommy Halo… well, you can imagine.’

  Bill started to laugh and put the napkin over his face.

  ‘I tried to do some other formats for Bert but no-one wanted to know. He’s quite a mischievous baboon, and I thought he was funny.’

  ‘You were funny.’

  ‘Alter ego, so to speak. Then when my relationship broke down...’ Molly now swallowed hard. ‘I put it all on the back burner. It all got too much. I tell people I cremated Bert at the same time as my cat died. But I can’t part with that puppet.’

  ‘So you were prepared to re-launch your career?’

  ‘I was prepared but never got round to doing it.’

  ‘I have a proposal for you, but you might want to think about it for a few days...’

  ‘You could at least try and sit up.’

  Mr Mac was unimpressed with Molly on Tuesday. ‘Don’t you have any stomach muscles?’

  ‘No!’ she replied, her shoulders barely lifting off the floor. ‘I haven’t.’

  He frowned and stared at her for a long time.

  ‘Try harder!’

  ‘Don’t snap at me!’

  ‘Then sit up!’

  Molly flopped back onto the mat and closed her eyes.

  She’d been out of kilter since Saturday.

  Jamie said he’d meet her then called to ask if all went well with Bill. When she told him it was fine, he told her he was going out on the piss with Squirrel.

  There had been no sight or sign of him since.

  This made her feel uncomfortable, mainly because she wanted to spend time with Jamie. She was trying to kid herself that she just liked his company.

  The fact was, she fancied him.

  ‘Whatever you’re thinking, snap out of it!’ said Mr Mac firmly. ‘I’ve offered to get you in shape to spa for the April Fools’ fundraiser and-.’

  ‘What?’ she said, managing to do a sit up.

  ‘Well done, you’ve-.’

  ‘I’m not sparring with anyone! Me? No way! Whose idea?’

  ‘Your fiancé.’

  ‘We’ll be split by then,’ she hissed, feeling alarm. ‘I’m not getting hit for sport.’

  ‘It’s called boxing,’ he laughed out loudly. ‘That’s what you do.’

  ‘I’m bloody well not!’

  Mr Mac pushed her back to the ground, and she was so angry. She did her ten sits ups before jumping to her feet.

  ‘Where is he?’ she asked, looking around for Jamie. ‘How dare he volunteer me!’

  ‘I think your fiancé is hiding.’

  ‘So he should be.’

  ‘He’s not hiding from you but someone else,’ Mr Mac said, walking towards the punch bag. ‘Come and vent your annoyance at this.’

  She followed him into the corner and started gently punching the bag.

  ‘Hiding from whom?’ she asked, looking up at Mr Mac.

  ‘He’s been up to something, or another, and I don’t know the rest of it. Did he tell you what he did over the weekend? I hear you were entertaining her husband.’

  She clicked it over then started punching the bag, knowing that Mr Mac would think that Molly knew.

  ‘Yeah, I was with Bill having chat. He invited me out for breakfast.’

  ‘Why’d he do that?’ asked Mr Mac, frowning. ‘Jamie says he’s taken a shine to you.’

  ‘Well, he has fabulous taste,’ she said, continuing to jab at the bag properly, biding her time.

  ‘Has she been coming round a lot?’ Molly gently asked, trying to impress Mr M
ac with her skills.

  ‘I thought the idea was that he’d break up with her, not give her a seeing to when you were with Bill.’

  ‘He did what?’

  Just then she managed to accidentally punch Mr Mac in the face.

  ‘It’s me.’

  Molly waited for Jamie to answer the front door after buzzing the intercom.

  After accidentally thumping Mr Mac, she managed to make a feeble excuse about thinking Jamie was going to see Chloe for a chat, nothing else. Using her best acting skills, she played light of the situation when, deep inside, she was seething.

  And more importantly, very jealous.

  Bill was right about Jamie only caring about himself and probably being a user.

  He opened the front door with a bright smile.

  ‘Hello there,’ he said, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.

  It made her skin crawl and blood boil.

  ‘Hi,’ she said lightly, forcing a grin. ‘Smells good. What is it?’

  ‘I thought I’d show off my culinary skills,’ he replied, rushing back inside.

  Taking a deep breath, she stepped in and noticed he’d set out the table. There were candles, and it looked romantic if it wasn’t for the fact it was a pack of lies.

  ‘Sorry about the weekend but it went a little boy crazy,’ he laughed.

  The man looked happy, and she knew why.

  He was stringing his lover and his pretend fiancé along.

  ‘That’s okay. I had things to do. Did you have a good weekend?’ she asked, moving around the table to see a bottle of champagne on ice, then mumbled under her breath. ‘You deceitful little shit.’

  Molly hooked her bag over her arm and took some bread, discreetly placing it in her bag. Grabbing the champagne, she opened it.

  ‘Are we celebrating something?’ Molly asked.

  The cork popped, and she poured out two glasses.

  ‘I thought it’d be nice.’

  Now the smile radiating from him made out he was genuinely happy to see her. But she knew he probably wanted to know exactly what Bill had said that morning to confirm he was out of trouble.

  ‘What a wanker!’ she hissed under her breath.

  The idea was to play along and make him squirm, but she couldn’t.

  Molly didn’t have to stomach for it and, right now, she didn’t want to look at Jamie.

  Taking the bottle of champagne and her glass she just had to say it.

  ‘I know you went round to Chloe’s on Saturday morning after dropping me off and shagged her. You’re such a fucker!’

  Something smashed to the ground and Jamie hurtled out of the kitchen.

  ‘Don’t speak to me or touch me again, okay?’ she said seriously, seeing the shock on his face. ‘You wanted me to see Bill so you could get your end away. Well done! And by screwing your lover, who genuinely thought you were engaged, what does that say about this relationship? She’s going to know it’s bullshit, isn’t she?’

  ‘Molly can I explain?’ he replied, looking ashen.

  ‘Don’t fool me with your crap. Have at least a little respect for me, if that’s at all possible. Enjoy your meal. I’m taking this and locking myself in the spare room.’

  Turning on her heels, she felt liberated and on the verge of crying.

  That’s what she should have done to Sam, instead of snivelling and wanting to change his mind.

  But the tears were how she felt about being fooled into believing someone genuinely liked her when they only cared about themselves.

  It seemed to be a continual problem for Molly.

  ‘I don’t see the point of continuing.’

  Molly shrugged her shoulders the following day while Squirrel sat next to her when she did a shift at the taxi office. ‘I suppose he told you on Saturday night?’

  ‘Mr Mac was there, me and a few others. He was bladdered and said something about it. I wasn’t listening,’ sighed Squirrel watching her type something into the driver tracking software. ‘Can I have a go?’

  ‘Just tell him that he can pay me for the weeks I’ve done, and we’ll call it quits.’

  ‘Why don’t you tell him yourself?’

  ‘Because I’m disappointed in Jamie Cohen,’ she said seriously. ‘I thought he’d genuinely wanted to get out of this mess. What do you think Bill’s going to think of me if he knows I knew about this?’

  ‘What’s Bill got to do with you?’ Squirrel asked in a terse tone. ‘And why were you meeting him for breakfast?’

  ‘Because he asked.’

  Molly would keep her mouth firmly shut. That cousin of hers had split loyalties. She could tell from the way he was defending Jamie.

  ‘I think Jamie ending up in the sack with Chloe was a genuine mistake,’ Squirrel whispered.

  ‘Doubt it.’

  ‘And why are you so bothered?’

  ‘I don’t like people who make out they like you, when all they want to do is use you.’

  ‘But Bill would never do that, would he?’

  ‘At least I can trust him more than I can that slime ball friend of yours.’ Then she took a deep breath. ‘He has put me forward to spar with someone at the April Fools’ fundraising event, do you know that?’ From the expression she was receiving, he did. ‘And I’m not going to do it.’

  ‘What if it were Jamie you were hitting?’

  ‘That’d be different. It’d be fun.’ She let out a long sigh then turned to look at him. ‘I like him. He’s the first person in ages I thought I could have fun with. Thing is, he’s like all the others who love to use and abuse the situation. I’m not letting that happen to me again, ever!’

  ‘You fancy Jamie, don’t you?’ Squirrel’s mouth dropped open and then he shook his head. ‘That’s way more trouble than you can handle.’

  ‘I don’t fancy him, I like him. He’s fun, and that’s what I needed. I realise he’s a slippery fish and even Bill intimated that I had to be careful.’ She was met with a frown. ‘And you know what? I like Bill.’

  ‘Don’t you dare go with a married man!’ he hissed. ‘It’d break your mother’s heart.’

  ‘I’m not going with anyone.’

  ‘And not Bill.’

  ‘Certainly not-.’

  Her phone was ringing.

  It was Bill.

  ‘Hello,’ she said, quickly taking off her head set and walking out of earshot from Squirrel. ‘How are you?’

  ‘I know this is short notice but can you meet tomorrow night for dinner?’

  Molly noted he sounded happy. He probably had no idea that Jamie had a leg over with his wife on Saturday morning.

  ‘I’d like you to meet someone,’ he continued then hesitated. ‘Have you put together some ideas?’

  ‘Luckily, Jamie was out over the weekend,’ she said, breaking into a small sweat. ‘I managed to get a few things done.’

  ‘Great! I’ll text you where and when to meet. See you tomorrow.’

  ‘See you then.’

  Holding her breath and turning around, she noticed Squirrel was standing close to her.

  ‘Who are you meeting?’ he quizzed, narrowing his eyes.

  ‘Tell Jamie to send me the outstanding money and I’ll give you the engagement ring tomorrow.’

  ‘What are you up to?’

  ‘The question is, I know what he’s been up to, and I’m not really impressed as this little game is going to fall flat on its face. I guarantee.’

  ‘Hello mum!’

  They’d arranged to meet in the café for tea and cake. ‘I’m sorry I’m late but there was a problem with one of the bookings.’

  Kissing Connie and then giving a big hug, she sat down at their regular table.

  ‘You look well,’ her mother said, making sure her scarf was wrapped tightly around her neck. ‘This place has a draft.’

  ‘Let’s sit somewhere else.’

  ‘No, here’s fine. I’m getting old.’

  Their cream teas arrived, and they chatted a
bout nothing until she noticed her mother’s eyes dart up. It was a look of wonderment or lust, or both.

  Molly wondered if she’d checked out some old geezer she had the hots for.

  ‘Hello there!’ a voice said from behind her. ‘I’m Jamie. I’m sorry I’m late.’ Just as she turned, he kissed her on the cheek and put out his hand. ‘I’m pleased to meet you.’

  Molly couldn’t speak.

  He had shaved his stubble off, revealing a very beautiful face.

  ‘You’re Jamie?’ Her mum’s eyes lit up. ‘How lovely to meet you.’

  He then leaned down and gave her a massive kiss on the cheek.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ asked Molly, trying to get her head around what he was up to. ‘Didn’t Squirrel speak to you?’

  ‘Yes, he said you’d invited me to meet your gorgeous mother. If Molly’s as half as beautiful when she reaches fifty, I’m a lucky man.’

  ‘I’m not fifty,’ her mother giggled.

  ‘And if she were fifty, you’d try to get into her panties,’ Molly hissed so her mother couldn’t hear. She was met with a laugh. ‘Obviously, he knows you’re not fifty.’

  ‘You could pass for it,’ he gushed, looking overly enthusiastic. ‘You don’t mind me crashing in like this? I wanted to surprise Molly.’

  ‘Well,’ Molly began, wanting to tell him to sod off. ‘I need to speak to-.’

  ‘Not at all!’ her mother said, sighing when she looked at him. ‘You never said he was so very handsome.’

  ‘He’s ‘so very’ quite a lot of things,’ Molly said, forcing a wide smile. ‘I could give you a long list.’

  Jamie just stared straight into her eyes.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, turning serious. ‘I know you’re mad.’ Then he looked at her mother. ‘I upset Molly but she seems very edgy and unforgiving about things.’

  ‘Edgy and unforgiving?’

  ‘You didn’t listen to my explanation last night.’

  ‘There was nothing to say.’

  ‘Did you have a disagreement?’ her mother coyly asked. ‘It happens.’

  ‘She has trust issues. She thinks I’m going to let her down just like Sam did.’

  ‘Oh,’ her mother gulped. Molly wanted to hit Jamie but decided to save it until later. ‘You know about him?’